Don't worry about me, nothing bad has happened to me personally but it's the people around me who have caused me to feel a little down and I am very concerned for them. As this involves other people I won't share the details openly here but to sum it up, I am worried about their future / spiritual walks and am considering how we as the church (especially myself) must continue to show grace and love towards them and accept them.
In my mind I know there are some things beyond my control and I just have to entrust them to God but I couldn't help but feel worried and burdened.
However, I am thankful that I called Joyce and she lent me a listening ear and was understanding when I said that I needed some time alone. Then I went online and logged onto the blog frankly not expecting much as I saw Gan Chai's tag in the afternoon ("this place seems dead today"). What greeted me were all your wonderful posts and I couldn't help but smile.
Maybe you guys don't think it's much that you wrote a paragraph or two but it really showed me that you guys take ownership of this CG and are willing to share your lives with this bunch of people. I saw sincerity, willingness to share inmost burdens, words of encouragement, people whom we haven't seen in a long time still remembering us etc.
As Yong Quan puts it aptly, I am "feeling very emo now" because you can't imagine how happy I feel as I see our CG slowly but surely growing in closeness. I sincerely treasure every time I see Heidi and Chrystal stick together like good friends. Or when Yi Jing gets up from the side isle and skips over to Rennes and they start laughing. Or when Yong Quan drops smses and tags on Ruiqi's and Elisia's blogs. Or when Zeng Sheng does not avoid me and asks me something. Or when Ruiqi is not shy and asks her friends down to hang out with our CG. Or when Janice encourages people to play on despite her many mosquito bites. Or when Sheng Le sacrifices his finger to light Chrystal's candle. Or when Hari pokes Gan Chai etc.
To confess there were many times I felt so worried that our CG would not be able to bond and I had to force out my enthusiasm at times, in the hope that people would catch onto it. But ever since returning from my mission trip, I think God's been teaching me more about serving with joy,entrusting things into His care through prayer and that truly He is the one doing the work.
I don't think I have done much but seeing these things really was God reassuring me that He is taking care of this CG and likewise He will take care of these other people I am worried about. So thanks guys for taking the effort to post and even just spending time together as a CG, it really made my day. And truly I can echo Clara's words of encouragement that came so timely:
"The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song." - Psalms 28:7 (NIV)
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